New relationships feel good, don't they? A time of blissful happiness where you can't wait to spend time with the man you've just fallen for. So, why doesn't this happiness last? Many women have a tendency to move from relationship to relationship looking for somebody who will make them happy. But here's the deal! If you're not happy already then no relationship can ever make you happy. It's time to learn the important truth about happiness in relationships.
Often the things that we think will make us happy are not things that really make us happy. For example, material possessions might give us a feeling of happiness in the short-term but it never lasts very long. Often the focus of our lives and longing for happiness are our relationships and, in particular, that one wonderful relationship with a special man.
Without this, we feel that something is missing. When we meet someone and fall in love, we have that glow about us and we feel intensely alive and happy. In the beginning, the relationship is our main focus. It feels wonderful as each partner tries hard to impress and do what they can to make the other happy.
But it can't last. Sooner or later real life takes over and the focus of one or both partner's attention changes. It has to. It is impossible to maintain that focus purely on a relationship. Now it doesn't feel so right anymore. We want more or something else. We start to think that if only our partner would start doing this or stop doing that, we could be happy. If only something was different; if only we could get back to the way we were; if only we could get married or have kids, or buy our own place together. Or perhaps we feel it's time to swap our partner for someone new. Certainly, we feel, we would be happy if the problem we are now focussing on was resolved. But, I promise you, the next problem will be waiting just around the corner.
This is just human nature, so it happens to all of us to a greater or lesser degree. But when we think that these things are going to make us happy, we are missing the point. None of these things can make us happy because happiness can't come from outside yourself. Of course, it appears to come from all those things but, as I've already said, that is only a temporary state of affairs.
You see, happiness is a decision that we make - to be happy in our current circumstances. Happy people are those that are content within themselves and don't expect other people to make them happy. They accept the ups and downs of life and the imperfections of themselves and others and they choose to be happy anyway. Often this is conditioned by our upbringing so we may have some work to do to make that choice.
I'm not saying that you should choose to be happy in all circumstances or try to be happy in a relationship that's not right for you. But generally, people who are happy in relationships focus on their partner's good qualities and not on what is missing. It really is all about where you focus your attention. See the good in your relationship and you will be happy. Focus on the bad and your relationship will always be a source of misery.
When you tend to focus on the unsatisfactory in your relationships then you will always become dissatisfied. Perhaps you will shun relationships or waste time in unhappy relationships. Maybe you will move from relationship to relationship, always looking for something that is missing and never finding it. Is this you? Be honest with yourself. Do you understand that you create your own happiness by choosing to focus your attention on the good rather than the bad? When will you start choosing happiness in your relationships?
To turn your new relationship into a strong, loving, happy relationship, you need to understand what really makes a man feel good. There is a certain type of woman that a man is irresistibly attracted to. She knows how to captivate him and communicate with him to draw him close and get him to respond in the ways that she wants. You can learn to be the type of woman that men adore and never want to leave. You can also find lots of great information and advice on dating and relationships on my website.
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